Passive Aggressive Notes & the Eternal Roommate Struggle

Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore. I did all the dishes in the sink last night, just like I did on Sunday night. So I did what I consider to be one of the worst things in the world in my state of anger. I left a passive aggressive note on the counter. It was totally neutral & pragmatic: “if you use my pots and pans, please wash them when you’re done, I know you’re unhappy with the state of this apartment but a clean sink can be a big improvement”. Then I said thanks and signed my name. She replied: “This is a joke…” Actually this whole situation is a joke. You started a fire by throwing my favorite scarf over a lamp, resulting in campus police knocking on the door at 3 AM and nearly killing the entire complex with the fumes of burning plastic. You consider “taking the garbage out” to mean putting the tied bags next to the door. Thanks, that’s helpful. You broke a mirror and blew a fuse in the bathroom outlet. You brought hamsters to live with us and left them here alone over spring break, so please don’t pretend to like animals when you leave these poor little things to fend for themselves in a dirty cage for a week, you’re not fooling anyone. Since the hamster situation is obviously going so well, the next logical step is to add a ferret to the mix that gets to bathe in our communal tub. I could go on for pages, but this paragraph was pretty cathartic so I’ll move on. 

The only thing keeping my here at this point is the fact that I also live with one of my best friends. She’s the only other person I know who can call out Degrassi episodes by title during the first 2 minutes of the show. Our favorites include “Shout”, “She’s Got the Look”, and “Accidents Will Happen”, just in case you were curious. She’s always down for a Netflix binge. I got into Breaking Bad and finished the series in two weeks, all while sending constant texts and snapchats about all my emotions. My day still feels empty without staring at Aaron Paul’s beautiful face for around 4 hours a day. #questionable, but she still accepts me. We always send each other the latest Buzzfeed quiz (I recently discovered that I should marry a merman, and she a pizza) or screenshots of the ridiculous status update a mutual friend posts on Facebook. We can communicate using only emojis & will never say no to frozen yogurt or chipotle. Last night we may or may not have rounded the mall food court 3 times, tasting every free sample before settling on Chinese food and then being bitterly disappointed by missing the Potatopia stand tucked away in the corner. Experiences like those are really what make me sad about leaving this mess of an apartment in two weeks. Living apart for the first time in 2 years is going to be weird, and I know I’ll be lonely when I start my next Netflix fest at 11 PM on a Wednesday. I’ll miss cramming for nutrition exams and laughing about nothing as we avoid actually studying. I have no idea where my life is headed, but I’m definitely anxious to find out. Knowing that at least one roommate situation worked out for the absolute best gives me hope for any new endeavor.

xo 

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